How To Give Advice To People You Love


Hi friends, 

I hope you’re all happy and healthy. We are parked up in Correze, France. Pirate tried to present me with a snake the other day that quite rightly bit him in the face. But he has recovered well and has learned not to chase after wiggly things. 

I’m still training to be a soil analyst, and I’m loving every second.

It’s been a while since I posted a blog. So I wanted to share something I’ve been learning about giving people advice. 

Do you ever wonder how to give the best advice to people that you love? What should you do when your children are messing up? How should you react when your friend is in a crappy relationship? What’s the best way to get people to listen?

I used to feel the same. 

Photo with thanks to Andrea

I just wanted to help people. I guess I wanted to be their ‘“savior.” To swan into their situation with my shining armor and make everything better. Perhaps everyone would clap. Or maybe I would just be a “better person” because I “fixed” people’s problems with a swipe of my sparkling sword. 

But then I stopped trying to get people to listen to me. I started listening to them instead. 

I just stopped planning what I was going to say, or how I was going to make everything better. I bit my tongue when the perfect piece of advice came tumbling up to my lips. 

It was really hard at first. To be honest, it’s still hard sometimes. I love the idea of being a great deep listener, but it actually takes many years of practice. So don’t feel bad if it’s the same for you. 

And you know what? I think as soon as I stopped trying to fix other people’s problems, my presence was actually helpful. It’s so rare that we listen to each other now. Instead of telling people why they should feel okay or how they should react, I just do my best sit there with them and really hear what they are saying. 

Photo with thanks to Roman

Sometimes we go our whole lives without having anyone hear what we have to say.

I know it took many years before I felt understood as a sensitive person. But it doesn’t have to be that way. With a bit of self awareness, we can totally break these cycles and start building a more compassionate world.

Have you got any insight on how to listen to people more deeply? I’d love to hear it if you do. 

I hope you’re as happy, safe, and healthy as you can possibly be.

Rachel 

Thanks for reading this blog post! You might also like to check out:

And as always, I’m so grateful to those who are checking out The Highly Sensitive Nomad book. 

P.S If you want to stay up to date with the blog, you can sign up below. Alternatively, you can follow me on Instagram or Twitter. Take care of yourselves!

Published by rph_writer

Freelance writer and Journalist. Author of Highly Sensitive Nomad.

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